ask me again

.Maintenance guy at work> "Hey, is the wifey here yet?"
.me> "No"
.Maintenance> "Still not yet?"
.me> "yes"
.Maintenance> "When?"
.me> "umm, next f**king year"

July 29 - job for cowboy

Since I'm coming back to the muthafunkin'ZhōngGuó I told my wife to use my bank card to get some cash out. Looks like the loonie is gonna umm, swan dive. C.R.E.A.M.

I just heard some Job for Cowboy, I like these guys, seriously.

Do you know do you know do you know?

It pisses me off when people ask me every 2 weeks if my wife is 'here' yet. For example is an email below.

Hey,

How are things going????? Any word when the wife is coming home??? What have you been up too??

July 28 - kèfù

I learned some Chinese today from my wife, that my company's customers are kèfù, not gùkè 顾客 like at a store.

I called her later than usual, she thought I forgot, and joked that if I forgot she'll give me "Wu Tang style". LOL I taught her that. I'll counter with some Beastie Boys style.



dolla dolla bill y'all

Crank 2

I liked it. Bai Ling made me laugh.

July 26 27

My wife is happy, it took 10 fricken' days to get my passport to her so she can get her hukou straightened out.

July 26 - power outage

Still no letter arrival yet, it's in Guangzhou customs.

My wife is upset someone thought she looked old, a younger boy called her ai-yi (aunt) while she was at the 超市 (chāo shì) supermarket.

I'm really liking the EM by Major Lazer.

traffic in China

yes it can be crazy to a 老外 lǎowài like me.

from my trip in 2008

crossing the street to go to the office




crossing the street from my place in Dongguan




they built a footbridge across from my place, people don't use it!!!

doing push ups

my wife is from Guizhou. I found this Ch.internet meme amusing.



俯卧撑 = fǔwòchēng
Push ups. This became popular when a girl in Guizhou, China committed suicide jumping off a bridge. Her friend claimed he was doing push-ups while he was with her. It represents an attitude of only doing one’s own thing and not caring about other things.

July 25 - holy slow!!!

My wife and I talked, she has not been sleeping much at all lately. Usually she sleeps for 12 hours, I can never do that. She commented how I can fall asleep very fast. She tosses and turns and takes up to an hour.

She also laughed and said she figured out why men in China always like me, and not her so much. Apparently it's because I'm like a little bitch to be frank. I couldn't really understand all her Chinese.

你的所做
你有一点娘娘腔
你又像个，小白脸
男人们看了你会喜欢你

As for the small package I sent to her, holy slow!!!! Chr!st. 5 days to get to China?? WTF.

July 25 - after midnight

I was supposed to meet my wife at 11:00. But I was so tired, I fell asleep watching The Ascent of Money, and she woke me up calling at 12:30ish.

In China, people will go to internet bars (网吧 wǎng ba ) and fall asleep. Sometimes they will go to spas and do the same thing. I've seen that.

banned

I feel like I've been banned from fair treatment from the government

July 23 - Nettwerk is in Van

talked to the wifey today.

She was laughing because I was using the word for cell phone signal then internet network in the same sentence. I meant to say 联络网 lián luò wǎng (connection net, web; network) to talk about the phone providers network problems. She had a signal but I couldn't get through.

July 22

Sent my wife pictures of my sister's cat and a video. She liked them. She wants me to let the cat outside.

I also sent her a pic of barbecuing at my buddy's place.

July 21 - Hello Kitty

stayed at the sister's on the weekend. Forgot my webcam (faaaaack!!), my wife really wanted to see her sister in-law's new cat. He has a girlfriend.

Nazi Punks F**k Off

Saw this interesting article in Time about Mongolia

Fifty-year-old Zagas Erdenebileg is the leader of Dayar Mongol (All Mongolia), the most prominent of the neo-Nazi groups. "If our blood mixes with foreigners', we'll be destroyed immediately," says Erdenebileg.... reveres Genghis Khan, who he says influenced Adolf Hitler. I ask him if he considers his adoption of the beliefs of a regime that singled out and executed people with Mongol features from among Soviet prisoners of war to be in any way ironic. "It doesn't matter," he shrugs. "We share the same policies."

Protectionism whether physical (trade) or intellectual (people) does NOT work.

negotiation

I don't think there is any negotiation with Canadian Immigration.

July 19 - the Brazilian

I tried to explain to my wife what a Brazilian is. She says she'll never go to a spa to get one.

July 18 - joint accounts?

My wife wants me to give her a copy of my bank card in Canada (assuming she makes it here) so she can access my account. They don't have joint accounts in China for couples. This is a new concept to her. She really likes it.

July 17

So the wifey sends me txt at 7:00am wanting to MSN. Then she tells me she wants me to send documents for her hukou.

going to see the wifey soon

In 1976, Claude Lelouch mounted a camera on the front of his Mercedes-Benz 450SEL 6.9 and drove through the streets of Paris -- running red lights, jumping curbs and possibly reaching speeds upwards of 120 mph -- before reaching his date near the Sacré Coeur. The result is the film C'était un rendez-vous,

July 16

called the wifey today. Her cell reception is annoying. She is still waiting on the hukou.

She wanted to see where I call her from. 停车场 tíngchē chǎng

marriage bliss

Google helps

July 15

I taught her the months of the year, since she wanted to learn them. February gives her a problem. She wanted to learn them because next month guess who's back???

July 14

Talked to the wifey today.

Didn't talk long. She was cleaning. She takes a looonggg time to clean. Usually like 5 hours. It's nuts. I remember cleaning with her once. Then I showed her the magic of micro-fiber cloths. But she likes to squat like the Chinese do and use her hands. I'm trying to convince her to use a b-mop.

America has Elvis impersonators. China has Michael Jackson impersonators (flash mob!!).

July 13

talk to the wifey today. Her phone reception sucks. I'm going to ask her about if she wants an iPhone. I think she wants one. It's a big status thing there if you can get one. I met a factory owner with a perfect knock off, he still uses it.

July 12 - evening

The wife is still waiting to get her 户口 hùkǒu sorted out. She can't work until then. China is different with employment. When you work, you sign a contract and pay a month's salary up front. Then you can't miss or quit the job early. I've seen my biǎomèi have to do this.

July 12 - morning

Could not MSN with the wife last night. I think there are managed black outs in China right now to conserve power.

She likes chestnuts. We practiced some english. Apparently the word for consider- kao lu is crap, it should be kao li.

July 11 - morning 我在看新闻

我在看新闻 - My wife was watching the news. She was telling me how there was a special on the Japanese economy, which has it's real estate doing well. WHAT??? I guess she's never heard of Japan's lost decade, and it's 2nd lost decade, it's demographic time bomb and declining exports.

Then right on cue, we weren't talking about much but as soon as I mentioned I had to leave to go to MT, then she wanted to talk about all sorts of things.

No Blacks, No Irish, No Dogs, No Uighurs

My thoughts|opinion on the Uighur situation - don't take anything I say as an expert, because I've never been there.

I think the Uighur situation is similar to the Afro American situation, resulting in the Watts Riots of '65 and the Los Angeles Riots of '92. But hey, to the Uighurs I say this, "Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Tiger Woods, Lewis Hamilton, Michael Jackson, Obama"

Shortly after my wedding ceremony, my wife blew a hole in her lung, and had to have surgery. Our honeymoon was at the hospital.


My wife laying in bed after surgery.


The doctor/surgeon who operated on my wife. He makes about $3000 CDN/month.



Me during surgery. I could not do anything except pace around in the parking lot.



My wife's friend who helped look out for my mom when we had to go back to Shenzhen without my wife.

The thing about the whole hospital experience, was that I paid cash, up front for my wife's care. This is one reason why in China they save so much. You get sick, you pay up front or you get no care. Also, this is one reason why in China people rely on their friends and reciprocate favors. You need money, your friends help you out.

So one thing I have noticed about Chinese in China, is that when there is a problem, they don't call their lawyer first, the police, insurance. They call their friends. I've seen traffic accidents where people call their friends first who show up. My wife has told me stories where people she knows get slighted then they call their friends to basically kick ass. She even told me once when I was going to buy something, that if I had trouble to tell the person my wife was from Guizhou. Apparently you don't f**k with people from there.

So when a bunch of Uighurs go rioting through the streets, guess what happens???? Those Chinese call their friends, and they don't wait for the army or police to set things straight. I think the Uighurs get this now.

July 10 - late 我总是失眠不可以睡觉

我总是失眠不可以睡觉

My wife is having trouble sleeping. It might be because she bought Michael Jackson's Ghosts.

Sometimes we don't talk a lot on MSN, but it's because she doesn't like me to ask her what she did that day. But she said I don't have to tell her what I did, and that when we are together it's ok for me to ask her about her day. But I also must tell her what I did. hmm.

I told her I was going to do some regular house cleaning tomorrow, she said I don't like to clean in China. But I don't like some of the things she has lying around. It seems messy to me. I told her there is lots of 'junk' and that I would show her when I'm there again.

July 9

talked to the wifey at work. She bought a DVD. "Mikeal Jackshun" She tried some more english on me, trying to explain that her life was different from her friends.

July 9

My wife got woken up early by people hammering something. Sound carries in the building. We talked about her interview at the Consulate. She was complaining that the translator would not translate everything she said, only small portions. Or made her give small answers. Now I'm wondering how much he translated to her. It pisses me off to think about the whole thing so I'll stop the post now.

traffic in China - Dongguan

there's a new foot bridge beside my place in Dongguan so you don't have to walk over the bloody road, but people ignore it. WTF. Video is from the foot bridge taken on my last trip in June.

Don't Tell a Redneck Hank Williams Jr. sux

Talked to my grandmother today. She loves the picture book of wedding glamour shots I sent her. I had to explain that they weren't from the wedding, but we were legally married when I took them. She is going to will the book away to my aunt (godmother).

She says she's going to show the book off to the girls at the legion, who are going gaga over "Hank Williams...some stupid American" because I'm more 'handsome.'

She loves the beach photos. Everyone near my age laughs at them. Generation gap! So go ahead, laugh at the beach and Harlequin romance novel photos. They sure cost me enough!!

July 7

talked to the wifey today briefly. She was still complaining about her phone, and also that when I return to China next month, I will have 'no time' to see her. Whatevah!!! It's better than me being here isn't it? I didn't argue that point.

She was going to watch the "Mi.ke Jack.shun" tribute. I can't wait to sit down with her in the dark and watch the full Thriller video. It scared the peeeeee out of me back when I was a kid, it will to her too!

R.I.P. Martin Streek